I already posted a bit on my 2019 intentions over on the ole ‘gram, but I wanted to jam on this more in depth via a blog post, because hellooo, writer 🙂 I used to drive myself crazy with New Year’s resolutions before finally realizing that my all or nothing perfectionist (who was prone to fad diets and rules that drove me miserably insane) can’t take that kind of pressure. So these days, I like to focus on annual intentions instead.
Confession time: I’ve been super depressed lately. As in considering medication because I’ve been vibing so low, feeling terrible, and couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I put a lot of the blame on my job, because it’s been a really tough year at my workplace, and although I’m great at what I do, I don’t love it. It doesn’t light me up. It’s unfulfilling. And that’s a hard pill to swallow every day. I’ve even blamed some of my depression on the amazing group coaching program that I’ve been in since November (which sadly ends in a few weeks). Although I love it, have made amazing friends, and had some transformational breakthroughs, much of the work has been really deep, painful, and hard to face (Sidenote: Still, this program and work has still been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Period.). Naturally, with all of this going on in my life, I blamed my depression and never-ending misery on those things. But–and here’s the kicker of a realization that I just had a few minutes ago–it’s not work or personal growth that have fueled my depression.